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| Mom jeans must be stomped out like a plague! |
Some people learn from their mistakes. Some people are doomed to make the same mistakes over and over again. I'm the latter. I find that I have a lot of time to think about the human condition while standing in line (forever) at Walgreen's. I'm shallow, so the human condition consists of what the people around me are wearing. In most cases, they are wearing mom jeans.
I realize that shopping for jeans is the most demoralizing thing a woman can do. I would MUCH rather shop for a swimsuit. But, for the love of God, MOM JEANS ARE THE MOST UNFLATTERING PANTS EVER! Why are they even an option? How can someone pull on a pair of mom jeans, turn to the sales person and say, "these are perfect! I'll take four of them!" You are trying on jeans anyway. Why not try on a style that doesn't make you look extra fat, old and unfashionable?
How can we so easily forget the most heinous example of mom jeans set by none other than Jessica Simpson? She wasn't far removed from her Dukes of Hazzard days when she chose to perform (yeah, remember her singing career?) in these:
I realize that moms are busy! We live in an age of information on demand! Use your smart phone for more than just finding the nearest McDonald's with a playground! Google jeans for your body type. Don't know your body type? Let's hope you haven't reproduced! Just kidding! Try Shop your Shape
they will help you figure it out! There is no excuse for mom jeans!
So now that moms everywhere have realized that they do themselves no favors by wearing the dreaded mom jean, a word of caution. I realize that it is kind of douchey to bring you to the point where you see the error of your ways THEN give you a warning. Don't go all Demi Moore on jeans! Remember beautiful Demi dating younger guys? Great! Empowering! Older guys have been dating younger girls forever. Now it's our turn! Then, Demi goes overboard by marrying douchebag extraordinaire, Ashton Kutcher. Don't run out and buy the trendiest jeans you can get your hands on. Remember, unless you are a model (and face it, if you were a model you would never have touched a pair of mom jeans) or under 25 no jeggings! Unless it's the right jean for your body type, don't buy the lowest pair of jeans you can find! No one wants to see either your granny panties or your I've-had-three-kids-in-four-years butt crack!
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| What a difference fit makes! |
And finally, a word about fit. There is so much going on with mom jeans, fit isn't even on the radar! While it may not have concerned you before, let it guide you now. A good fit is paramount! You've made it this far, don't give up when we are almost done! Shakespeare or Stacy London once said, "find jeans that fit the biggest part of your body and have them tailored if needed." More brilliant words have never been spoken. There are many different kinds of jeans. If you can't find one that fits. Fit your biggest part and have a tailor fix the rest. It's worth spending a bit extra for a good fit. Please, please, please, do not buy jeans that are too tight in the waist! Let's not trade in mom jeans for muffin top!
Postscript: What started out as a tongue-in-cheek post kind of turned into valid information. This is rare on my blog. I will admit to a slight obsession with jeans. I love high end denim! You don't have to buy expensive jeans to get a good fit. I have some jeans that cost upwards of $300 (this is high end for me). I have discovered Express ReRock barely boot jeans. They are right at $100. The fit is perfect for me and they have a nice design on the pockets. I have also worn (and been delighted with) Express Zelda barely boot cut jeans. I got some on sale for $49. It's possible to find a great pair of jeans at almost any price point! Fit is the key! Don't give up! It usually takes trying on more than 40 pairs of jeans to find one that works.
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