Locosmetic

I went to a birthday dinner last night and found myself seated next to this chick who reeked of neediness.  It literally came out of her pores. Or would have, had her pores not been completely clogged by the make-up slathered on her face. As I looked at her thick, black eyeliner, I had an epiphany regarding a new cosmetic line. Starting with the black eyeliner (she actually may have used a sharpie), I began to develop this product line. It's all in the names: Black kohl eyeliner called Desperation; bright red lipstick called Unstable; hot pink liquid blush called Insecure; finally, a four pack of eye shadow in various blue hues called low self esteem.

Of course, I think it's brilliant, so I consult a friend with actual marketing experience. She says it's funny as shit but make-up is supposed to make a person feel better rather than proclaim their inadeqacies. She makes an excellent point.

Imagine the awesome ad campaign.  We go with a celebrity. Obvious choices would be Kristin Stewart or Britney Spears. With K Stew, you have pics of her getting oral from the creepy old guy who directed her in Snow White & the Hutsman.  Her eyeliner, Desperation.  For Britney, you have to go back a few years to the head shaving incident. I'm pretty sure the lipstick she is wearing is Unstable.  I think the poster girl for my cosmetics line is Jennifer Love Hewitt. She is the whole package!  Not only does she have an engagement ring on standby at Tiffany, she also asks guys out via talk shows. I think the clip from the Ellen tv show with JLH asking a freshly dumped Adam Levine out would be perfect. Jennifer wears all my products.  Bitch is crazy!