Vibratorship

I still can't believe they make these!

I will admit to not being the most tech savvy person in the world.  What can I say?  I'm old and I have an English degree.  Neither of which is conducive to mastering technology.  On the advice of a friend, I started blogging.  Such a gentle push: "If you don't stop sending me inane text messages every day, I will block you"!  Anyway, that is neither here nor there.  So, I start blogging.  I figure no one reads but at least it's out of my brain and I can go on with my day!

Enter Blogspot.  I AM of the instant gratification generation.  I've got a gmail account.  I can be blogging in five minutes!  I realize that I need to add pictures.  A picture is worth 1000 words or some such bullshit.  I get all the google stuff confused.  I open a Google+ account.  I find Facebook and Twitter very easy but for some reason Google+ confuses and annoys me.  I don't dwell on it.  I create my account and forget about it.  NOW, I can upload photos to my blog.  How are the two related you might ask?  I don't know but at the time I thought I needed Google+ to upload pics from my phone to my blog.  I hope that I was drinking at the time but I'm pretty sure I'm just stupid.

This happens to coincide with a friend's milestone birthday.  This friend, who we will call Bashley, has coulrophobia.  Do you know what this is?  Neither did I.  It's a fancy name for clown phobia.  I've always found clowns to be pretty creepy.  I'm pretty sure that most people who work in the clown industry are either pedophiles, drug addicts, or serial killers (John Wayne Gacy).  Anyway, it's Bashley's birthday and she makes the stupid stupid mistake of admitting to a bit of coulrophobia.  I do what any friend would do.  I start sending her pictures of clowns.  I start slow with a good looking clown stripper and end with John Wayne Gacy in a clown suit.  Bashley is kind of pissed.  Mission accomplished, right?  Wrong!  I decide to take it to the next level.

Who knew they really do make a clown vibrator?!  I'm kind of impressed!  I guess I need to amend my statement that you can make a magnet or bong out of anything to you can make a vibrator, magnet or bong out of anything.  Unfortunately, I don't discover the clown vibrator until it is to late to actually give it to Bashley as her birthday gift.  It's on back order.  She will get it for Christmas.

What do Google+ and the clown vibrator have to do with each other?  In most instances, nothing at all.  Unfortunately, I saved the picture of the clown vibrator to my phone.  I wanted to be able to torture Bashley with it until I gave her the real thing at Christmas.  Sort of as a warm up to the main course.  Through sheer dumbassery I managed to not only save the picture to my phone but it also posted on my Google+ account for all to see!  I didn't realize this for a long time.  Because Google+ is completely incomprehensible, I have no idea how to get rid of it.  I check my circles hoping they are empty.  No such luck.  I've got a couple of friends to whom clown vibrators are par for the course.  Then it slaps me in the face, an old couple I know through a friend.  All of whom would be mortified if they saw this and recognized it for what it is.  It could be something else, right?  Maybe a thin clown statue with an on/off switch?  Shit!

I call my sister for help deleting the damn thing.  She just laughs and laughs.  I even called Bashley for help.  She said, "you reap what you sow, bitch!"